It's All Good

Fear of Failure or of Success

2010-10-10T16:20:00.004+02:00

Fear of failure, fear of success, self-sabotage, depression... The list goes on. I've been there too. I too have wished that I could overcome these fears and finally grasp the opportunities before me. Well you know what? There are solutions to these problems and to start with I have found something that won't cost you a penny! That's right, if you just Click Here! you will be redirected to a site where you too can download a 58 page guide 22 Powerful Tools To Transform Your Fear Into Happiness, Peace and Inspiration.

I hope that this free e-book will help you too and enable you to move forward and gain a sense of achievement and worth. There's no risk in trying. It's all good.

Steve

How to learn efficiently

2010-09-26T17:27:00.004+02:00

How to learn efficiently?

A very important question.

If you want some advice,

This method works nice,

Click Here! Try this direction.

Steve ;)

Speed Study Technique

2010-09-12T12:10:00.002+02:00

If you have to study,

You want to do it well.

Which is the best way to do it?

And indeed how can you tell?

I'll give you a clue, Click Here!

And you are sure to find,

A better way of learning

To make better use of your mind.

You are the best, you can do well,

And your results will show it.

But first you need to learn the way

So click the link now, do it!!!

Self Defense

2010-09-11T08:43:00.005+02:00

Too many are persecuted,

Not wanting to fight back.

And yet you really should know how

To protect yourself from attacks.

Myself, I too prefer peace and love,

Surely this is how things should be?

But yet if you find yourself attacked,

Why get hurt - or worse - uselessly?

7 Most Effective Self Defense Techniques - Click Here!

And if you really want to take self-defense seriously - Click Here!

Newton's Third Law

2009-06-01T10:31:00.004+02:00

I often quote mistakely
Newton's second Law.
But I don't mean to say
F = m a
So my arguements are flawed.

In fact I mean to make use
Of Newton's Third Law to reason.
For this law states that each force provokes
An equal and opposite reaction.

For though this law was intended
To apply to forces and motion
It can also be applied
To life and communication.

If you try to talk to others
By using angry words
Then they will just get angry too
Your arguments will go unheard.

Likewise if you try to push them
They will just push back!
If you don't show respect to others,
Expect them to badly react.

But if your words are gentle
And chosen with great care,
They will lead to understanding,
And your feelings you may share.

I do not mean to hurt
Others who mean me no harm.
But yet if you insult me
Don't expect me to react with charm.

(Proverbs 15:1 - A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.)

Someone mentioned vomiting?

2009-06-01T08:44:00.003+02:00

Just one of the songs on the Encore album which I seem to listen to quite a lot lately.

What a shame love can turn to such bitterness.

Makes you wonder what that poor Kim could have done to deserve such a violent reaction.

By the way I am sorry if any ladies find this offensive, but I did not ask you to come here nor to listen to it.

Jean Sablon - Paris, tu n'as pas changé (1939) - French crooner par excellence

2009-05-31T07:57:00.001+02:00

Voici la chanson que je cherchais, et en voici les paroles. Celle-ci un voisin anglais me l'a fait transcrire et traduire il y a bien des années. A l'heure qu'il est je ne sais pas s'il est encore en vie. On croise tant de gens bien dans la vie, mais on ne peut faire toujours marche arrière. Cependant parfois on peut reprendre les choses là où on les a laissé.

Voici les paroles en tout cas, trouvées sur http://lyricsplayground.com.

PARIS, TU N'AS PAS CHANGÉ
(Alec Siniavine / Jean Franc Nohain) (1939)

Jean Sablon (France)

Après de longs mois de voyage
Quand tout à coup le train ralentit
Et que le porteur de bagage
Vous crie par ici la sortie
On se bouscule vers la porte
On se sent le coeur tout battant
Et puis un taxi nous emporte
On regarde on est tout content

Paris tu n'as pas changé mon vieux
Paris tu n'as pas changé tant mieux
Toujours les mêmes ciels
Toujours les mêmes yeux
Et toujours ton sourire merveilleux

Paris tu n'as pas changé mon vieux
Paris tu n'as pas changé tant mieux
Tu n'as pas grossi
Tu n'as pas maigri
Tu es toujours le même Paris

Des petits détails par-ci par là
Une affiche que l'on ne connaît pas
Tiens encore un nouveau cinéma
On s'émerveille à chaque pas

Paris tu n'as pas changé mon vieux
Paris tu n'as pas changé tant mieux
Tu n'as pas maigri
Tu n'as pas grossi
Tu es toujours le même Paris

Bien sûr c'est charmant l'Amérique
C'est très émouvant le Canada
Il faudra que je vous explique
Des tas de trucs que j'ai vu là-bas
Il y a des gens très sympathiques
Je suis sûr que ça vous plaira
Mais en arrivant d'Amérique
J'ai trois petits mots à vous dire tout bas

Paris tu n'as pas changé tant mieux
Paris tu n'as pas changé mon vieux
Toujours les mêmes ciels
Toujours les mêmes yeux
Et tout ces petits chapeaux si merveilleux

Paris tu n'as pas changé mon vieux
Paris tu n'as pas changé tant mieux
Tu n'as pas maigri
Tu n'as pas grossi
Tu es toujours le même Paris
Tu es toujours le même Paris

Tu t'laisses aller - Charles Aznavour

2009-05-31T07:45:00.001+02:00

Cette chanson n'a rien à voir avec personne mais je suis tombé dessus et j'ai beaucoup apprécié le chanteur alors je le partage avec vous. Ainsi n'inclus-je pas les paroles puisqu'elles ne sont pas d'actualité. Mon coeur appartient à une autre.

Yet another Linux convert

2009-05-30T18:24:00.003+02:00

Mandriva linux is the best
For now I've put it to the test.
I have tried others, as you guessed,
But I think Mandriva beats the rest.

Windows XP was slowing down
With all the protection you need.
But linux is safe and free and fast
A very good deal, yes indeed.

Who? Why?

2009-05-19T07:11:00.003+02:00

My time is short,
I must go and work,
But I just thought
I'd have a look
To see if anyone
Still comes here
Though I almost never
Write this year.

I see that someone
Who lives locally
Regularly comes
To check on me.

Who are you my friend?
Why do you still come here?
Why don't you just phone me
Since you seem to live near?

So send me a message
On stevstl@gmail.com
We can talk on the phone
You can come to my home.

But if, as I suspect,
You are my ex-wife,
Why bother reading my blog?
Just get on with your life.

I no longer write
On my blog for you.
Why would I bother?
Got better things to do.

And if you are her sister,
I really do not see
Why you would still come here
Or take an interest in me.

Again if you are someone else
Please forgive me for my doubts.
I sometimes feel I'm spied upon,
But I don't want to shut you out.

Two lights extinguished in one week

2009-02-14T16:05:00.004+01:00

At the beginning of this week
Two lights glowed in my heart.
One the love of my ex-wife,
Has gone out for she chose to depart.

But the greater light by far,
For my Nan in my home-land,
Her life a light so bright to me,
No more may I hold her dear hand.

To my Nan I owe so much,
For a better nan no man could wish.
But now she has gone to a better place,
Her smile and her warmth I shall miss.

During my childhood I spent much time,
Learning and working with Nan,
Many weekends I spent at her home,
For my Dad was a very stressed man.

Forever I will cherish,
Memories of this dear lady.
She helped my dear Mum and I,
Since I was just a small baby.

It is very hard to express my love
And to help you to understand.
But yet my Nan is now at rest,
Her sweet spirit is now in God's hands.

Still Lovin' You?

2009-02-01T22:24:00.005+01:00

Many would think me crazy,
And then again maybe I am!
After all I see a psychiatrist,
And I'm surely a very strange man!

But yet in my heart is a light,
Still glowing faintly somehow.
And though I thought it extinguished,
Again I can see it's faint glow.

I know you often read my blog
Perhaps it shows you still care,
And somehow it is a comfort
To know you are still there.

Many think the opposite
Of love is surely hate,
But in fact it is indifference
Or so Bernard Werber did state.

You asked me if I still had hope.
I told you that it was gone.
But what must you now think of me,
If just maybe I was wrong?

I did not dare to think of you,
So hard to bare the pain,
Of seeing I got it wrong once more
And losing you once again.

So like I say, I'm a crazy man!
And you surely must agree!
But my door is still wide open,
Though the future nobody can see.

Don Williams - I don't wanna love you (can't find the music, sorry!)

2009-01-31T15:05:00.002+01:00

No, no, no, I don't want to love you
And oh, oh, oh I'm tryin' not to
No, no, no I don't want to love you
But oh, oh, oh, I think I do
This heart of mine it's been mistreated
Love's done me wrong time and again
After the way I've been cheated
I want you, and yet, I still can't forget
I'm so afraid to give in
I think about you every minute
And I miss you when you're not around
And every day I'm getting' deeper in it
I'm scared to go on but the feelin's so strong
I can't turn away from you now
No, no, no, I don't want to love you
And oh, oh, oh I'm tryin' not to
No, no, no I don't want to love you
But oh, oh, oh, I think I do

La Chasse!

2009-01-20T14:58:00.004+01:00

Avez vous jamais remarqué
Comme certains oublient toujours
De tirer la chasse et nettoyer
Pour les suivants à qui le tour?

Le problème ce n'est pas,
Qu'ils salissent la cuve de partout,
Ce n'est pas leur faute si çà éclabousse,
Pas plus que si çà pue!

Mais toujours tirer la chasse,
C'est vraiment très facile,
Et la brosse n'est pas pour les dents!
Ne soyons pas débiles!

To anybody who reads this
But does not understand French
Don't bother trying to understand
It's not worth getting tense.

I'm writing some nonsense for a change
To avoid saying what's in my heart.
For some things are just too hurtful,
From our lips to let them part.

Dandy Livingstone - Suzanne Beware Of The Devil - Trojan

2009-01-04T14:03:00.001+01:00

Suzanne beware of the devil, don't let him spoil your heart
Suzanne beware of the devil, don't let him put us apart

Did you say we got to part
Or did you say let's go for a walk
Did you say you got someone new
Or did you say you like the colour of hue
I don't know what's goin' on
You're not the girl I used to know
You're turnin' my world upside down
Brandin' me with a frown - e-ey

Suzanne beware of the devil, don't let him spoil your heart
Suzanne beware of the devil, don't let him put us apart

Did you say you're leaving town
Or did you say you're stickin' around
Did you say you're serious
Or did you say it's all a bluff
Why do you wanna change our dreams
All the things we've planned and schemed
Do you really wanna go
Or is it just an overnight glow - e-ey

Suzanne beware of the devil, don't let him spoil your heart
Suzanne beware of the devil, don't let him put us apart, no no

Did you say we got to part
Or did you say let's go for a walk
Did you say you got someone new
Or did you say you like the colour of hue
I don't know what's goin' on
You're not the girl I used to know
You're turnin' my world upside down
Brandin' me with a frown - ey-ey

Suzanne beware of the devil, don't let him spoil your heart - yeah-hey
Suzanne beware of the devil, oho, don't let him put us apart ....

Lost a would be lover, found again a sister

2008-12-06T22:56:00.004+01:00

I love my sister very much
It's great to hear her voice.
I have to say that this way
Is surely the better choice.

We could have been together
And brought each other much
But yet as brother and sister
Our souls we'll surely touch.

I love my sister Esther
I'm proud of her as well
Though others often judge her
It's not always easy to tell.

The only way to justly judge
The value of another,
Is to walk a mile inside their shoes,
And to treat them as a brother.

I am far from perfect,
I admit this to you freely.
If things had worked out otherwise,
T'would also have made me happy.

But as things are I have to see
That together we will never be
Except as friends and family
Like it's always been for her and me.

So I am happy to have a sister,
To love and protect if I can.
Until the day when she falls in love
And marries another man (again!)

Some things in life are meant to be
Other things are clearly not,
So let us just try to be happy,
With the life that we have got.

Let us not be sad
For the life we do not live
But let us seek to bless others
And to them freely give.

Lately I have been hurt
And for once I returned the pain,
But it doesn't make me happy,
I don't think I'll bother again.

I want to live in love and peace
To make happy all those whom I meet
My family and my workmates,
And even those in the street!

For in bringing joy to others
Surely we will find
That we are all sisters and brothers
And this should bring peace of mind.

I love you all, my readers,
For we are all family!
All of us are children
or one Heavenly Father, you see.

But no I shall not begin
To preach to you as well
It's up to you to decide
If you beleive in Heaven and Hell

For me it is always a comfort
To think that I have a friend
Always waiting to comfort me
When to Him my prayers I send.

But now I must retire
For it is getting late
Though it's always nice to talk to you
And my life's stories relate.

Thank you for listening

Steve

IN THE BEGINNING - The bangles- Eternal Flame (with lyrics)

2008-12-01T07:37:00.002+01:00

18 years ago a beautiful, sweet young lady found this song conveyed her feelings towards me. I guess she was dreaming and must have soon realised that I was not the one I had appeared to be.

As early as our wedding I was impatient and unpleasant as I found it hard to support the heat of summer at Nice where we held the reception.

Then the first nights together were a disaster, not surprisingly as I had already partly spoiled the most important day of her life.

Now I continue making things worse, 18 years after our mariage, 2 years after our divorce. She has finally found true love with someone who is more mature in such matters.

I wish her well, even if we no longer speak, even if she wins back all of our five children, even if I end up losing everything due to lack of ressources and bad financial management, it would be no more than I deserve.

Eventually I hurt those I care for most.

I am sorry for all the hurt I have caused, particularly to those who should have been closest to me. I have failed in my most important duties and responsibilities beyond recovery I fear.

I love honesty and justice too, but even they are hard to keep a hold of sometimes, and I say hurtful things, pent up since such a long time in my heart that they often come out twisted a little.

I tried. I try. I am trying.

I failed. I fail. I am failing.

But I am still alive and so there is still hope, no matter how faint, that I may cease to hurt people and one day do some good to somebody, even if those with whom I shared the most, now dream another dream.

Zuccero - Feels like a woman

2008-11-23T10:11:00.001+01:00

This is a man who needs a woman
I'm not afraid to say what I feel
I'll never be unfaithful
I've been wrong and lived the lonely life
Silence is loud without her whispers
My body craves her touch
Such are my prayers every break of dawn
To open my eyes and see her by my side

Chorus:
When the earth shakes and the tide breaks
Feels like a woman
So much power takes my breath away
When the sun beats satin blue sheets
Feels like a woman
I am sweating, begging her to stay with me

This is a man who needs a woman
In all of my world, in my nights
If i don't live up to this promise
Then I am wrong, I have no right

Chorus

Chorus repeated

This is a man who needs a woman
I'm not afraid to say what I feel
I'll never be unfaithful
And I'll be warm, but not tonight.

A wife, a wife, my kingdom for a wife!

2008-11-22T21:18:00.014+01:00

Often I feel so lonely
Since I got divorced.
I tried to start again,
but failed both times of course.

I do not deserve a woman,
Nor even can I keep one.
For my house and soul need repairs,
And I barely have begun.

My children need a mother,
But a mother they do have.
She loves them all very much,
Though half of them live with their dad.

I would like a woman to cherish
I would like a woman to cuddle,
But my home is a mess, and so is my head
I'm really in rather a muddle!

Yesterday on arriving at work,
I parked my car and then
It stopped on it's own, just died!
No more diesel once again!

So this morning, on my bike,
I fetched some diesel and then
Climed the very long hill to work
And tried my car to mend.

But though I tried all I could think of,
My car no longer would start,
So once again on my bike
I was obliged to depart.

Monday I'll cycle to work
And charge my battery up
But if that does not work
The I've no more car - hard luck!

Then to get the contrôle technique,
Or in English the M.O.T.
I still need to spend 900 Euros
Or more, so I wonder you see
Whether it's really worth it,
Or should I do something else?
Buy another car or a motorbike?
Or is cycling best for my health?

And so you see, I am confused,
O'er this and so much beside!
I could not impose this on a woman
And expect her to stay by my side!

And so I shall remain alone,
With some of my children at least.
Even as a friend I'm a burden,
And sometimes I turn into a beast!
For I long to have a companion
To lay down by my side at night
So I sometimes misunderstand
And request that to which I've no right.

But to end this little article
I'll share with you a rhyme
Which my mother told to me.
I thought it funny at the time:

I eat when I'm hungry
I drink when I'm dry
And if it doesn't kill me,
Then I'll live until I die!

Stan and me

2008-11-20T07:11:00.002+01:00

So very often I'm just like Stan
I think I should explain.
I send a message with no reply
And then I worry in vain.

Because the other does not reply
I start to feel confusion
But others too have a life to live
My message may be an intrusion.

In any case in life right now
I'm hurting people who count.
Rejecting people who helped me
My feelings had to come out.

I ask of others to love me
But their love I do not merit
I think I'm going crazy
This my kids must not inherit.

Last week I heard lots of words
Which I found very hard to hear,
I brooded all afternoon
In the evening I drunk lots of beer.

And then I wrote a message
To the one who spoke those words
My message was very hurtfull too
Such things she had never heard.

I'd like to say I'm sorry
For doubting her love so stong
For her children, all five of them,
To say otherwise was wrong.

Eminem - Stan: MTV Long Version

2008-11-20T07:09:00.001+01:00

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

[1st Chorus: volume gradually grows over raindrop background]
[2nd Chorus: full volume with beat right after "thunder" noise]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; [*screaming*] Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
[car tires squeal] [CRASH]
.. [brief silence] .. [LOUD splash]

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem]
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!

nickelback how you remind me

2008-11-09T22:00:00.001+01:00

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'
Tired of livin' like a blind man
I'm sick inside without a sense of feelin
And this is how you remind me

[Refrain] :
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
It's not like you to say sorry
I'm always waiting on a different story
This time i'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin'
I've been wrong, I've been down
To the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream "Are we having fun yet?"
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no no x4

It's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
It must have been so bad
Cause living with him must have damn near killed you

[Refrain]

Never made is as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me

[Refrain]

Nickelback - Far Away

2008-11-09T21:51:00.002+01:00

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[Chorus] :
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[Chorus]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go

Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go x3

Esmeralda and Gollum

2008-11-08T18:02:00.007+01:00

Life is full of surprises
We see the strangest things
But love is unpredictable
With joy it makes us sing.

Esmeralda and Gollum
Whatever is the link
There is one, can you find it
I'll have to let you think.

"Esmeralda it's the bells"
Said the hunchback to his lady
And what do bells do normally?
They RING, my precious, you see?

Once upon a time

2008-11-07T21:27:00.006+01:00

Once upon a time
A Princess stole my heart
She made me someone better
Until she had to depart.

The timing was not right,
For then she was still married,
And she endured much suffering
Whilst in her heart I tarried.

Through love I left her for a time
Then she got back in touch
She burned within my heart again
She had never left it as such.

Once more she sent me packing
And broke my heart again.
I deleted all contact info
And tried to heal the pain.

Just when I had other worries
Filling my mind and my time
She came back to my home
And we spent an evening divine.

This time I could not just accept
Her leaving me once more in pain
I expressed to her all of my feelings
My deep felt love I did proclaim.

But alas, as always I was too late,
Through her work she had met another,
And now she just ignores me
And the pain is worse - oh brother!

Sometimes I do not learn,
I carry on making mistakes.
And lately I think much of death
T'would be better for everyone's sake.

Yet still my children's mother
Reminds me not to be
So selfish as to think this way
My children still need me.

I'm not the man I used to be
My heart too often broken
If only I had held my peace
My feelings left unspoken....

Mirror Vision

2008-11-06T13:27:00.002+01:00

When you look in a mirror
Everything is back to front.
My life is like that right now
I hope it's not permanent!

Right now I have no time
To write many words to you
For I must get back to work
So that is what I shall now do!

Reminiscence

2008-09-12T18:32:00.001+02:00

Thinking back upon my life
I have loved truly four ladies.
And yet now with my three eldest kids
I am living alone in my house.

Hélène I think you already know
how much I will always love you so....
And my first love you will always be
Even though now you are not with me.

Odile I loved, our love was stong
It helped me for a time
But with all the stress it could not last
And the passion did decline.

Laurence was marvellous,
and yet she did abuse,
And for a time I accepted
but yet my love she did lose.

And as for Esther, my sister in law,
Our love, I thought stong and good.
She was married and so I disuaded her
The only way that I could.

But now I am in a bit of a mess
For these women I do still love
But the purest of these was Hélène,
Our union approved from above.

This poem is probably boring
and nobody will surely read this
But my love is real, in my heart is a hole
Will I ever come out of this darkness?

YOU

2008-06-03T23:44:00.002+02:00

Love is special
Love is great
Gives reason to live
Motivates

I miss loving you.

Kind words cost nothing
Yet are worth so very much,
You never know who
Your words will touch.

I miss sharing kind words with you.

Poetry is beautiful
expressions of the soul
Expressions of love and hope
Expressions of wishes and goals

I miss sharing poetry with you.

Dreams are marvellous,
In them all can be ideal,
No worries, no fears,
'Till we awake to see what's real.

I miss dreaming of you.

Yet life is good and the future is bright,
Thanks to my best friend much is going right.
I'm buying a house with projects galore,
Always work to do - no chance to get bored.

And you are still there

Be happy my friends,
And share your smile.
For these cost little,
Yet they're so worthwhile.

P.S. Good luck to loulène and Fred for their upcoming move - if you need a hand, just drop me a line my friends ;)

YOU

2008-06-03T23:41:00.001+02:00

Do I know you? Do you know me?

2008-05-10T08:30:00.002+02:00

Many people, I thought I knew
But I found this to be untrue.
For the person I thought I saw
Was just a mirage, nothing more.

How easy it is for us to judge
The qualities of those around us
Yet if in the heart we cannot see
Their actions may confound us.

You think you know me?
Maybe you're right,
Then again maybe not.
Many have thought they did,
then realised I ain't so hot.

But who are you? And who am I?
Will we ever know?
Is one of us just a mirror,
Who to us our face will show?

Sorry

2008-04-10T23:28:00.002+02:00

It looks like I may have got it wrong. There is a lot of good but a lot of bad too. Right now I am seeing that I am failing as a father for my children are making worse and worse mistakes. When your children turn to sex, smoking, alcohol, stealing, lying, violence, cheating, disrespect of adults and fleeing of reality in computer games, one has to wonder where one went wrong. At the moment I feel lost, disappointed, and somewhat disgusted by life itself. Perhaps tomorrow will be better? I give my trust too easily and end up often betrayed. I try hard but without planning and consistency.

But life goes on - for the time being at least. The weather is great at the moment in any case - not cold with light showers, and a few surprises from time to time, like the hale-stones today. I miss .... life, trust and love.

Sleep

2008-03-26T20:17:00.002+01:00

Sleep is a wonderful thing
When you are feeling down
So get yourself to bed
And don't you hang around!

Sometimes we may get so busy,
We feel there's no time for rest.
Yet it's when we are well rested
That we can give of our best.

Life is good, so be happy my friends!

Total disinterest

2008-03-22T09:59:00.001+01:00

I have to say,
I am surprised
At the total lack of interest
In these triangles-
One more difference
Between us clearly manifest.

Yet the answer
I shall give
For those who'd like to know
In case this puzzle
left you confused
The answer lies below.

So why is it that using the same shaped pieces re-arranged you have a hole in what appears to be the same end shape - a big triangle? Well, in reality neither of the end shapes are triangles, even though they appear as such, for the large and small triangles have slightly different angles. In fact the first assembly has one slightly concave side whereas in the second case the same side is convex, which accounts for the square hole.

Paradox

2008-03-18T21:41:00.005+01:00

This is a very clever illusion, so what is the trick?

I know the answer - do you?

But life is full of paradoxes. Personally I think that love is one of the greatest paradoxes of all - it just doesn't make sense, and yet it is real....or is it?

Amazing! 40 in two days and I still haven't grown up! =D

Remember that even though sometimes the clouds or the rotation of the earth may sometimes hide it from our view, the sun always burns brightly and warms the whole earth. Be happy :)

One of my favorite songs

2008-03-17T12:54:00.003+01:00

Asimbonanga
Asimbonang' uMandela thina
Laph'ekhona
Laph'ehleli khona

Oh the sea is cold and the sky is grey
Look across the Island into the Bay
We are all islands till comes the day
We cross the burning water

Chorus....

A seagull wings across the sea
Broken silence is what I dream
Who has the words to close the distance
Between you and me

Chorus....

Steve Biko, Victoria Mxenge
Neil Aggett
Asimbonanga
Asimbonang 'umfowethu thina
Laph'ekhona
Laph'wafela khona
Hey wena
Hey wena nawe
Siyofika nini la' siyakhona

Life, don't talk to me about life....

2008-03-16T00:50:00.002+01:00

I sometimes have to ask myself if I chose the right proffession. I work in electricity and yet I also fix others' computers and things, but I also feel sometimes like I run a hotel with all the people who come and go in my house! What with my own children moving between their two parents and my ex-cousin-in-law who stays here at the moment I have a fairly full house at the moment. Yet tonight I have just my two eldest boys at home. My eldest is with her boyfriend and as for my 'guest' I have no real idea where he is! This afternoon he went to visit his Cousin in Agen, and I have no news since! The difference from a hotel, apart from my not charging fees, is that in a hotel nobody cares or worries if you do not return!

I am kind and try to be generous, but I am also tired. Tired because of lack of sleep. Tired because of worrying for children who do not know what they want from life. Tired of being taken for a fool. Tired of many things, and perhaps of life in general.

And yet tomorrow is another day. The sun will shine, even if we cannot see it much because of the clouds. And there are things to do and progress to be made. For now though I need to sleep. I shall have to give up waiting for a lodger who is clearly not coming home and tomorrow we shall see what happens!

Sorry if this article is negative. Hopefully I can do better soon.

Nothing

2008-03-11T22:08:00.003+01:00

Feelin' Groovy

2008-03-05T00:00:00.003+01:00

I simply want to say
That I'm feeling rather good.
I don't feel stressed at all
Though perhaps I should.

My house is full of fine people,
My heart is filled with love,
And yet I have no partner,
To care for and to think of.

I love my children,
I'm proud of them too
Each has their own special gifts,
And we all make mistakes,
That's how we learn,
So don't criticize - try to uplift.

Be happy my friends :D

My PC mess - probably the least of my worries but hey!

2008-03-01T10:17:00.002+01:00

Hello again! As promised a more technical (boring?) article.

When I was still married we had two computers - a fairly modern PC and an older one which I had upgraded over the years, and which our children used for some basic games and things. When my wife left me I took the older PC as the new one was less problematic and I know how to deal with technical problems so... I managed for a few months but then found it necessary to buy a modern PC as this one was just too slow, and the children had the old PC to themselves again. Then I was asked to fix a slightly faster (but still old) PC for a friend, which I did, but the owner then decided to buy a new PC and leave me the old one, which of course I modified and passed to my children instead.

In January I decided that it was time to make my fast machine available to my children as the games they wanted to use would not run on the old machine, and pass the PC they were using to my ex-wife for my other children to use, along with a monitor I got from a friend in payment for fixing his PC! So I re-built myself a PC from old parts with a 'new' hard drive and put windows 98 on it for my use, as I mostly do budgeting and blogging on my PC. Ouch! Windows 98 worked fine at first, once I had managed to find drivers and internet protection which still worked on it! Before long though it got slower, and slower and slower, until it was virtually unusable.

I then decided to try Linux as it is renowned for working on slower PC's. After some difficulties I managed to install Ubuntu Linux, from their live CD which I managed to download free. That was still not fast, but it worked great. I found free office utilities for word processing, spread sheets and even an accounting package called KMyMoney, on which I managed to install all of my data from Quicken 2000, and with some jiggery-pokery I was able to import all of my data from Thunderbird (e-mail). I was happy with this until one day I somehow managed to delete the task bar from the desk top! I tried in vain to get it back properly, found I could not re-install Ubuntu like I could windows, got tired of wasting time on it and gave up.

Next I installed Mandriva Linux from their latest live CD - another big download, and again free. This is still working fine, though I have still not managed to install KMyMoney unfortunately, so for a while I was not able to update my accounts - oops!

Finally through E-bay I decided to buy a license for Windows 2000 for only €17 and install that, so this is what I am now using and I have reinstalled Quicken 2000, and not too soon! I found that with trips to Bordeaux, a birthday and other things I have already over spent this month already and tomorrow is Laura's birthday!

So that is it! I told you it would not be very interesting! I try to do what is best for everybody on a very tight budget, but as I never succeeded in getting a job which pays enough I have to make lots of compromises, whilst trying to tell myself that life is good...

Love of music

2008-02-29T21:10:00.002+01:00

Sorry, but no poetry tonight :(

When I was a boy my mother listened a lot to Country and Reggae music. I grew to love both types of music and attach happy childhood memories to them. I recently borrowed a UB40 CD from the library (Homegrown) and discovered a side of the group with which I was not familiar, including the song which I have included here. By the way, though a lot of the words of this song may apply to certain people, not all apply to any one individual, so if you feel concerned, please do not be offended.

By the way, I have not been around for a little while because of computer challenges, which I will gladly tell you about, but for most of you this will probably be of no interest, so feel free to skip the next article.

But I would like to thank all of you who have taken the time to visit me lately - I can now see who you are, or at least where you come from, including Canada, the UK and a more local town, which makes your visits personal and heart-warming ;) so thank you.

For those of you who are looking for news of my little lady daughter, I am afraid you will not find any here, so you will just have to ask her if you know her number. I have too often tried to explain others' feelings only to learn that I did not really understand myself! (you can read that however you like)

UB40 - ♫ I Knew You ♫ (Live Ahoy, Holland - 11/12/03)

2008-02-29T21:06:00.002+01:00

I knew you before you knew
Who you wanted to be
Now I see the new you
She's a perfect stranger to me

Love's unkind, for I find
It only saw the best of you
But my mind, not so blind
Showed my heart the rest of you!
Scheming, lies and alibis
That butter wouldn't melt disguise
With happy ever after eyes
That made a fool of me.

I knew you before you knew
Who you wanted to be
Now I see the new you
She's a perfect stranger to me.

Love is cruel, it makes a fool
Of one who thought we had it all
All bridges burned, the lesson learned
You never really loved at all.
Now you're gone, I'm on my own
Don't come around, don't even phone
Please leave a happy man alone
And we can both be free.

I knew you before you knew
Who you wanted to be
Now I see the new you
She's a perfect stranger to me

That two-edged sword again

2008-02-23T09:29:00.003+01:00

The tongue is a two-edged sword,
Well used it does so much good!
Yet causes much pain and damage
Saying words we never should.

Many words I feel to say
In anger and disgust
Yet I choose to hold my toungue
and in the future trust.

Anger and hated are terrible words
And the feelings are just as bad.
They serve no useful purpose
But only make others sad.

A child is a part of it's mother
Nine months it lives in her tummy
And often the very first words it says
Are Maman, Mama or Mummy.

As parents we all are human
As such we all make mistakes
But we never stop trying nor loving
Despite all the blows that we take.

So please let us be careful
In the use of words
For even spoken in private,
By someone they may be heard.

p.s. I know that I have spoken or written words which have offended some unintentionally or with clumsiness and I apologise.

Today is Special

2008-02-18T20:34:00.003+01:00

Today is tomorrow's yesterday - don't worry if today is hard, for tomorrow it will be in the past

Today is yesterday's tomorrow - the new day you may have been looking forward to yesterday is here, so enjoy it! Remember also, that which yesterday you said you would do 'tomorrow', you now must do today.

Tomorrow never comes - when today is finished it becomes immediately 'yesterday' and that which was 'tomorrow' now becomes 'today'. Don't say "I'll do it tomorrow", for tomorrow will just be another 'today' and you probably still won't want to do it!

Today is the first day of the rest of your life

Another new blog???

2008-02-17T13:40:00.001+01:00

I'm happy to say that I'm changing again.
And why am I doing that?
I'm hoping to see who visits my blog
To be able to see the stats.

Blogging is good, it can be fun
It's a way to make new friends.
And when we feel down and need to talk,
It really can be a godsend.

Life is not always easy,
Things sometimes get us down.
But it really doesn't help anyone
If we just fret and frown.

So if you have challenging problems
Step back and just maybe you'll see,
There is always something to smile about
When you look at things positively.